As Queenie arrived with her usual pomp-and-ho-hum, Elder Elf approached her. Gingerly, he asked, “Ma’am, did you know that early voting has gotten underway today?”
With head raised (this time it didn’t hit the ceiling), she nodded just slightly so that her tiara would not go askew.
Daring to broach the issue, Elder queried, “As you probably know, there have been some new requirements about voting. I just wanted to review them with you. Here they are:”
A voter who has not been issued a driver’s license or social security number may register to vote, but such voter must submit proof of identification when presenting himself/herself for voting or with his/her mail-in ballots, if voting by mail. These voters’ names are flagged on the official voter registration list with the annotation of “ID.” The “ID” notation instructs the poll worker to request a proper form of identification from these voters when they present themselves for voting, unless they are a voter with a permanent exemption on the voter registration certificate. The voter must present one of the seven (7) acceptable forms of identification:
- Texas driver license issued by the Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS)
- Texas Election Identification Certificate issued by DPS
- Texas personal identification card issued by DPS
- Texas concealed handgun license issued by DPS
- United States military identification card containing the person’s photograph
- United States citizenship certificate containing the person’s photograph
- United States passport
Putting on her monocle, Queenie reviewed the list and dismissed it, saying, “I have far better credentials than these.”
Raising his scraggly eyebrows, Elder said, “Please share with us your references, so that we can recommend them to the authorities.”
With nose raised high, Queenie reported that she had had the obstetrician who delivered her provide a notarized statement saying that she was indeed born in the United States with photos of the delivery.
Shaking his head, Elder didn’t have the heart to suggest that might not work. Instead he dared to ask, “May I be so bold to ask for whom you are voting?”
Expressing a slight look of shock (her latest shot of Botox had not settled in yet), Queenie responded, “As my dear Queen Mummy told me when I was a little Queenie-in-training, ‘One must never discuss sex, politics, religion or one’s plastic surgeon.’”
Love your wit!