Saturday night’s 14th Annual Bishop’s Gala at the Hilton Anatole was a bit like that old adage about eating your veggies before dessert. There was a lot of housekeeping for the Catholic Charities of Dallas before the evening’s entertainer Martin Short hit the stage, but it was well worth it for the audience and CCD.
While the high rollers partied in the Wedgwood Room, the main crowd checked out the silent auction in the lobby outside the Chantilly Ballroom. Too bad for the Wedgwood guests, because they missed out on some great shopping. For instance, Kasey Hollon was hitting the bidding screens for a number of things including the Ritz-Carlton Spa and Dining Package and the Gourmet Catered Four Course BBQ Dinner for 12. Ah, but Kasey was not just being philanthropic. She’ll be co-chairing the St. Elizabeth Ann Seton’s 2012 annual gala in September with her husband and wanted to see how the “Big Board” operation worked.
Sister Margaret Ann Moser was making her swan song as president of Ursuline Academy. She’s retiring at the end of the 2011-2012 school year.
But don’t think she’s disappearing from the scene. No, she’ll assume the newly formed position of president emerita with the Ursuline Academy of Dallas Foundation. As time drew near for the near 1,000 to have dinner, the bagpiper on the mini- stage in the middle of the Chantilly Ballroom played his lungs out trying to encourage people to move from lobby to ballroom. Not much luck. Oh, former Bishop Charles Grahmann heard the call and took his place at his table. When asked about his retirement, Bishop Emeritus Grahmann said, “It’s fantastic. Everybody should try it once in their life.” He’s just back from goose hunting and wild hog hunting at his brother’s place near his birthplace of Hallettsville. His brother has a ranch with about 100 Black Angus.For about a year and a half the former head of the Dallas Diocese was taking care of the cattle and had to do all his own cooking, washing, buying groceries, etc.
But Dallas’ Bishop Kevin Farrell opened an office here for him, which allows him to help with confirmations here and in San Antonio and to do special liturgies. Every Sunday he conducts two masses, one in English, one in Spanish, at St. Edward Catholic Church. He laughed, “I have a square head [for his German roots] and a Mexican heart.”
Despite Bishop Emeritus Grahmann’s promptly going to his seat, hundreds of others dawdled. So the piper moved to the ballroom’s entrance. Better luck, but still slo-mo was the motion of the night. They were just having too much fun chatting. And then there was the audio. Seems the production crew was testing it while guests were starting to move into the ballroom and hearing aids suffered as a result.
Ah, but it was well-worth getting to their seats. The favor bag was a lunch bag with lots of goodies like a Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookie and an interesting little solar-powered gadget that instantly charges up handheld devices.
In the meantime, a v-e-r-y pregnant emcee, WFAA’s Cynthia Izaguirre, was getting ready to take charge of the evening’s program. Whether it was because Izzy was sensitive to the room’s temperature or because she was pregnant with twins, she started feeling a bit of a chill. To the rescue was architect/hubby Jeremy Tilley with a coat. The first-time parents with a due date of May 17 admitted that they still didn’t know the sexes of the babies, but were playing it safe by painting the nursery yellow with birds, per Cynthia’s direction. After the births, Cynthia and Jeremy will adjust their work schedules, so no day-care centers will enter the equation of the household.
Bravely, Cynthia took the podium sans coat and tried to get the group seated. . . and she tried and tried. She even threatened with a smile: “I’m very pregnant and out of breath, so I want you to listen to me tonight.” Seats were taken and she introduced Catholic Charities Interim Executive Director Joe Brogdon, who thanked Event Chair Mary Linn Clifford, who’s “given her life for this event for the last year. . . her team has exhausted themselves tonight.” Just before he called Bishop Farrell to the stage for the invocation, Joe thanked countless others from volunteers to staff for their help in making the night happen.
Advisory Board President Jerry Jacob joined Joe in thanking many in the audience and reminding all that Catholic Charities doesn’t help people because they are Catholic. . . it is because they are Catholic that they help people.
To reinforce the importance of the evening’s fundraising aspect, Bishop Farrell preceded the invocation by saying the people needed to “care for the least of our brothers and sisters. Catholic Charities is one of the most untold success stories of our community in Dallas.” Following that up with a Biblical story, he added, “So the moral of the story is, open up your pocketbooks and spend all your money tonight. That’s shameless, but. . . ”
Following the invocation, salad was served and the ballroom lights started behaving mischievously. They were up; they were down; they were dim; they were bright and at one point they were out. It was so dark in the room that had it not been for the brave little votive candles, you wouldn’t have known if you were eating your salad or the centerpiece. Speaking of the centerpieces, many of the tall glass cylinder centerpieces were seen being carried from the room. Guests didn’t want to miss one iota of the night’s festivities, don’t you know?
When the lights finally calmed down, Cynthia returned to the podium and taught the crowd how to text donations. Unfortunately, not everyone learned. One gal decided to skip the lesson and chatted and texted non-stop throughout the presentation. Well, she did stop for the invocation. At one point she yawned and reached over her shoulder to scratch her back. One table guest nudged another and asked, “Why is she here?” His table companion responded, “I think it’s rather remarkable that she can multi-task by chewing gum and texting at the same time.”
Don’t know what she did with the gum when the filet of beef was served.
But that was just one out of hundreds like Caitrin and Stephen McSherry, Sister Dana Heffner and Bobby and Guia Chua, who not only joined in the fun but also helped raise lots of money. For instance, Jane and Rick Smithwon the Wine Country auction item for $13,000. To commemorate the occasion, Rick had Martin Short sign the item placard and admitted he did it, “just for the charity, and because it’s our 30th anniversary. This is the first time she ever asked me to plan something.” Nice planning, Rick!
At 9:44, the auction, heads-and-tails game and all money-raising was over. It was time for the show to begin with Martin Short, his cast of characters and his accompanist cute Jeff Babko.
Before covering Short, you need to know that an accompanist like Jeff deserves some attention. He works the keyboard for “Jimmy Kimmel Live” weekdays and has worked with the likes of James Taylor, Sheryl Crow, Julio Iglesias, etc. In addition to doing arrangements and a slew of others musical projects, he’s a respected veteran in show-biz music and doesn’t lose his cool. . . even when “Marty” used his keyboard as a step to stand on top of his grand piano.
Ah, but back to the headliner of the night. Since this was not Vegas, Short tailor-made his show so it qualified for a G-rating. Okay, a slight hint of PG may have entered, but it was clean through and through.
Here are some excerpts:
On meeting Mayor Mike Rawlings: “He’s in fantastic shape … for someone who’s let himself go.”
What Donnie Osmond told him: “Always leave the audience wanting less.”
On Jeff Babko: He’s actually one of his oldest friends. “Actually, he was there when my children were conceived.”
About himself: “I’m Canadian. We’re the aliens you don’t deport. … I have three children, one of each, all baptized of course. It’s a little different in Hollywood, though; my kids were baptized with Evian water.”
Three Amigos: “My first movie was Three Amigos. . . (applause). . .Gracias. . . That means thank you in another language other than English.”
At this point in the program he recruited three from the audience to help him do a Three Amigos salute. Unfortunately or fortunately, the first person he tried to draft waved him off. It was Bishop Farrell. But Marty had better luck getting Bill Stuart, Wes Schuler and Kevin Marino on stage, donning major sombreros, crossing arms and “thrusting.” Yes, it was a good thing that the Bishop opted not to participate.
After a momentary break, Martin was back out, “being played” like a bagpipe by the earlier-in-the-evening bagpiper. He then presented a slide show with running commentary:
On Newt Gingrich, who’s nearing 70: “The only time he doesn’t have to pee is when he’s peeing.”
On Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I don’t like this man. In fact I voted for him so he would stop acting.”
Then Martin disappeared for a couple of minutes and returned as talk show host Jiminy Glick to interview the Diocese of Dallas’ Annette Gonzales Taylor. Their conversation ran something like:
Jiminy: “Tell me about your journey, but not too much detail, because I really don’t care.”
About her husband, Annette said: “You know, the Bishop calls my husband St. Miles.”
A couple of times during the talk, Jiminy jumped out of his chair and pounced on Annette, embracing her.
After one more brief break, Martin returned to the stage and got serious. He talked about how charities had really taken a hit since the recession, adding that he loved doing benefits because “they’re the happiest audiences because of the people’s continuing generosity.
“Supporting this cause will get you to heaven,” Martin added. “Here’s the great thing about heaven: Your Sundays are wide open.”
As he left the stage, he couldn’t help but leave them laughing with, “It’s better to have loved a Short than never to have loved a Tall.”
For his efforts, he received an immediate standing O and reciprocated by coming back and telling the crowd, “Plastic surgery doesn’t work on men. Nobody says, ‘Who’s the 38-year-old guy?’ They say, ‘Who’s the 60-year-old who’s been in a fire?'”
A few minutes later, both Marty and Jeff were gone, but the crowd couldn’t resist giving them just one more standing ovation. And while the vast majority headed to their cars, a very small group made their way to the Wedgwood Room for photos with Marty, who tirelessly showed the same generosity and sincerity that he had the day before.