This morning, the doors to MySweetCharity global headquarters ripped open. In the doorway was the legendary Queenie*. Glowering at the scene of some elves in hazmats suits and others hiding under the sheets in their cots, she demanded, “What is going on? Did another tornado hit?”
Elder Elf, who was in a bubble, floated over to Queenie, saying, “Ma’am, while you’ve been away, the coronavirus has swept the land. We’re taking precautions against getting it. We’ve sanitized everything including unicorns. The porcupines were a real challenge. Any deliveries, we’ve wiped clean. We’ve sheltered in place. I am happy to report that none of us has shown any indications of having COVID-19.”
Still not happy about what she was seeing, Queenie calmed down a bit and said, “You’ve done all the right things, but now it’s time to get productive.”
Elf eyebrows raised. (It’s sorta hard to see them rise because they’re so itty-bitty.)
Elder cautiously asked, “Please forgive me for this question, but how are we to be productive if we can’t go outside and can’t interact with others or gather in large groups?”
The all-knowing Queenie immediately shook her crowned head and said, “There are countless ways. For instance, my dear, equally beautiful and talented friend, Jan Strimple just told me:
“The good news on my front is that for the first time in two decades I’ll have my taxes filed without an extension …. just as the filing date was pushed back. Nonetheless, I feel GREAT about getting this completed by this weekend.
“We’re still working on the Salvation Army styling as donations continue to come in. In fact … as I type this I just had a thought …… those items could make a great post under ‘good use of time’ while at home:
- Get your taxes done
- Pour yourself a Quaratini … head into your closet … and do something wonderful for SAWA’s program by pulling out the clothing and accessories no longer being worn! The Army is one of those organizations that will provide services for those impacted the most as we come out of this. Truly puts the ‘Doing the Most Good With Your Clothes’ slogan into action!”
With that, the elves got busy with their abacuses and commenced tearing through their closets. On the other hand, Queenie helped Elder out of his bubble and started making lists of more things the elves could do to occupy their time that wasn’t fattening.
* For newcomers, Queenie has been in a Swiss rehab center for chocoholics.