Queenie Proclaims Recent Sneezing And Wheezing May Be Only Temporary

It was so adorable this morning when Queenie arrived in her ceremonial robes and her favorite tiara topping a splashy sombrero. What was the occasion? Cinco de Mayo was still a couple of months away. Elder Elf, who had had his gray roots refreshened for the umpteenth time, approached the old gal asking, “O regal one, who was born with a platinum spoon in her fist, may I ask why you have chosen to accessorize your regal wardrobe with the Mexican influence?’

Looking around at her queendom, Queenie harrumphed, “Isn’t it really rather obvious?” It’s National Guacamole Day.”

Bracing himself for the response, Elder winced saying, “My royal special one, I believe that at last report Friday, September 16^th is National Guacamole Day.”

Queenie would have wrinkled her brow, if her Botox had been double strength. Her pursed lips uttered, “Then what’s with all the guacamole in this place?’

Realizing that his sweet Queenie was way above normal frailties, Elder explained, “You see, Ma’am, the entire conclave of elves has been hit with allergies. Due to the unusually warm weather conditions, the trees and flowers are blooming and the elves are sneezing, wheezing and tearing up. And then there are those pesky bugs. ”

(Editor’s note: As everyone in the MSC universe knows, elves’ don’t sneeze, wheeze and tear up like humans. Their tears and other wet excretions are guacamole.)

Now understanding that she had totally misunderstood the situation, Queenie appeared to show possible signs of embarrassment. But embarrassment is not an emotion that her royal DNA had ever experienced. In fact, her great-great grandfather once said that no one associated with the family tree had ever been associated with such words like “ass-u-me” or embarr-ass-ment”.

Regaining her royal composure, she raised her perfectly engineered nose to new heights and announced to all, “Never fear, my darlings. My cantankerous cousin, Mother Nature has not taken off for her spring break. Just the other night over a delicious dinner of hummingbird-spun sugar cane, Lady Diana Fingers and champagne sweets, she whispered in my perfectly sculpted ear that a late February/early March freezer-deezer might make life interesting.”

So, if you, like the elves, are doing non-stop sneezing, having sleepless night and having an allergist on call 24/7, be hopeful. And for heavensakes, don’t stash those winter cozy clothes and toss the hot chocolate packets. Winter ain’t over until the fat Ma Nature sings and swings.