This morning’s mailbag brought in a missive that had the MSC elves in a dizzy tizzy. Putting on his specs, Elder Elf read it to the group:
“Hello,
“ My name is #*%{>~^. I’ve attached the following story on your Sweet Charity site from two years ago. I would like to kindly request to have it removed from the internet , or at the very least to remove the section about my girlfriend at the time. We broke up over a year ago and I am clearing the internet of any and all associations with her. Cleansing my google search from any connections to her. This is the last piece online remaining and id really like to have it cleared.
“Please let me know if this would be possible. I hope you can comply with my request.
“Very best
“#*%{>~^”
The hard-as-nails copy desk elf with candy cigar clenched in his teeth complained, “The post is accurate. It was about a fundraising event that honored certain people. He was the one who made the big deal of his relationship. Why, he even announced it from the stage. What does he think we are? A dating service?”
The office manager elf started shaking violently saying, “With all the divorces taking place nowadays, we’d have to have a department that would be dedicated just to changing statuses.”
A well-read pixie put her two cents in, commenting, “I think he must be confusing this with the bizarre decision of the European courts to have Google overseas remove links at the request of individuals (not actual stories, but links). First off, it doesn’t apply in the U.S. and secondly, it doesn’t apply to individual stories anywhere. Sheesh. Are we living in Orwellian times, or what? Changing the past to suit the present….yikes.”
Just then Queenie made her presence known, sobbing into her monogrammed hankie that Catherine the Great had given her.
“Now, now, O Illustrious One, you mustn’t take it so hard that the poor lad is on a quest to eliminate the memory of a relationship that soured,” said Elder Elf.
Queenie wiped away her tears saying, “His heart was broken a year ago and now we must break it again.” As she turned to leave, she looked at Elder saying, “The post stays put.”